So what to do when it seems like there is no way out? If anything, my ability to sleep has diminished in the past two weeks to the point that every night is a replay of wakefulness and light if any sleep, and every day is a despair filled pit. It honestly feels like my life is over. I can't plan to do anything, I don't socialize, I barely scrape by at work. And on weekends, I sit at home in a sleep deprived stupor.
I continue to force myself to do sanity-saving activities. Yesterday I went on a hike in the mountains, though it took me 2 hours of stumbling around to get my day hike stuff together. This morning, after another piss-poor 4 hours of sleep, I grogged myself up, forced myself to do 40 minutes of yoga and a little meditation, which helped immensely, before I commenced with trying to slog through the rest of the day.
Paperwork accumulates, I no longer clean my apartment, I'm no longer interested in playing music, and the near sleepless nights play out one after the other in agonizing succession. I feel like the end of the rope is near. I have no ability to think or interact with people, so my isolation in insomnia is almost perfect.
I have no control - I do all I can, have tried almost everything there is to try to remedy the issue. I feel like all I can do is surrender to the black hole.
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