It takes me 90 seconds to get out of the car, 2 minutes to put on a pair of socks, 30 seconds to pick up a piece of garlic that I had dropped on the floor while preparing food. The realm of possibility in my life has just involuntarily constricted to an impossibly, yet liberatingly tight circle. On satruday I fractured my hip after falling off my bike on the way to the local farmers market. A fracture of the greater trochantor was the diagnosis. I landed on the pavement on the point of my hip, and the bone in the immediate location fragmented, injuring a key attachment point for tendons/ligaments, but otherwise leaving the weight-bearing functions of the leg intact.
So its with great pain that I now move, but as hip fractures go, I suppose its mild.
So my world of possibility is now constricted. I need help driving anywhere, cooking. Gone for now are the agressive daily agendas of work, food cooking, working out, meditation, tai chi, music playing, and socializing. Now, there is nowhere to go, and little that I can do.
So is it this that has restored my sleeping pattern, or is it the drugs. Afterall, vocidin is powerful stuff - makes me feel a little lightheaded and relaxed. They also gave me valium as a muscle relaxant in case I get muscle spasms (which I have'nt) and super strenght ibuprofin. No wonder this stuff is restricted.
Because I can't do I don't do, and I don't think about what I can't do. My agenda is now almost single pointed - healing.
Maybe filling in all the needs has been too exhausting, too taxing: single homeowner, housework, full time job, weight training, music practice, tai chi, yoga, cooking food, socializing, worrying about dating, and keeping my life organized, and dealing with persistant sleep deprivation (not necessarily in that order). Most of it has come to a screeching halt. Maybe this fracture is worth the pain and disruption.
And now I have time for blog writing, if but for perhaps a post or two.
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